where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
