remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
