How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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