WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
