the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
