and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
