just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Dear god my vagina.
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