been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
