I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
