So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
