Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
