so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
