i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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