No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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