I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
