loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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