Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
