so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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