Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she told me i tasted like america
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
