dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
