OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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