Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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