what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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