you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
