I got chris browned last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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