After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
