No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize