Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
