Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
