Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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