Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Screwed.edu
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
being pregnant is like rehab
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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