I just made out with a guy for $7.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Randomize
