Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have demons in me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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