Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
