a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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