We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
