i permit you to call me
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
