We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't deserve a penis
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize