If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
