I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
PANTIES FOUND
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
