I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
