Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
