I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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