I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
