She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
