I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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