Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
