Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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