a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
