He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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