I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
