...so i touched it.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
