My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
