No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
