Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
