Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
