You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
