bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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