just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize