My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
