do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
