can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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